The River View Journey

Today is national coming out day. 24 years ago at the age of 18 I remember this day coming onto my radar screen for the first time. It has been quite a journey to my publicly recognizing it for the first time. But today, I do that. This is the t-shirt I wear today. It is a statement about my view of the world.  My journey to be openly supportive of this statement has been long. With my first exposure to this day, I remember being curious. I also remember wanting to be an ally. The journey very early took a u-turn so that I could remain aligned with the faith I thought my tradition had taught me. It took me a long time to unpack what I had been taught about God so that what I had come to know of God through scripture, reason, tradition, and tradition illuminates my world-view. Today my relationship with God is the lens through which I examine social issues. That includes issues surrounding the lives of LGBTQIA persons.  River View Center is a place where persons can...

Blue skies give way    to fog, Grey, and rain. Today is a more honest picture of this season for me       than the clear blue of yesterday. Today....     even the outside space does not help       strengthen the sense of freedom and       peace that usually accompanies the       wild Rather, recent days have left me feeling like a cricket in Times Square    instead of an eagle bathing in the river

I am struggling still with how to disconnect with social media. I don't want to disconnect from people sharing about their kids, jobs, or how fall is beginning to take shape in the northern hemisphere around them or from several thought provoking devotional and contemplative pages I follow. But, I don't want to be confronted or tempted to engagr with the election and surrounding posts. I am finding them to be triggers for my I own past trauma and history dealing with standing on my own and thinking for myself. So, I write again today... This time I am thinking about community. 2020 is a year when everyone of us has to think intentionally about community and how to make it happen. When I say community,  I mean deep connection with other people. These are people who make you think. Community is people you can rely on. They are the ones who stand with you when everyone else walks away. Who are those people in your life? Who randomly, for no real reason checks on you and you on the...

I am having a day where I feel like I am not "enough". Add to it any descriptive word about my life and faith and I am not it enough. I have been here before.  But, it is hitting me all over again. Deeply. It hurts. Immensely.  Being a contemplative means I often have a difficult time finding my voice. Today, in trying to voice how unjust something is, I didn't point out enough how large the the discrepancy is. All I feel in the response is that I didn't do enough. Better to have done nothing. So, I think I need to tke sometime away from social media again. For the very few who actually read my blog, this includes my blog and the River View Center FB page. Maybe I will be back after the POTUS election.

There's a prayer in a movie that has been playing through my mind over the last several weeks. It is from "Forest Gump". And while my circumstances are nothing like that of Ginnie's when she tells Forest about her prayer, i have found the words timely. "Dear God,  make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away." Today I was awoken by the calls and cries of Bald Eagles at 6am. Throughout the day I have seen three: 1 juvenile and 2 adults. I have sat during my prayers listening to them and other birds. I have enjoyed sights of the antics of Kingfishers.  As the Bald Eagle is a symbol of freedom for the country of my citizenship, i begn to hear this prayer in my heart today. It especially came to mind as an adult hunted for fish an bathed in the water across from my house for over 30 minutes. There are lots of aspects of my life in which I am longing for freedom. Many are deeply personal and so I won't name them in this space today. But, what I will say is that...

This morning I found myself being glad its September 1st. Its cool and overcast here. That means I can comfortably wear pants. Today it feels like fall here at River View Center. Even my doggo just wants to curl up and snuggle. I am enjoying this bit of quiet in the midst of a topsy-turvy year. Spouse at work. Kids at in-person school. But, there is my own restlessness. I have basically been unemployed for 6 months. I did get a little bit of pandemic unemployment. Our tax return went toward a family gift of kayaks. The stimulus check finally came 3 months after IRS said it was mailed. It came just in time to be used to pay for repairs on the electrical system in our house. As a substitute teacher, my getting jobs is all dependant upon the district having need. Thus far, no need. No need means no assignment and no income. Recently, I tried to look into taking a few classes so that I might get certified level 1 rather than emergency certified in my district here in PA. What I have discov...

Someone I follow on Facebook recently posted a picture of her daily journal. The picture included a prayer which said: "Forgive me for expecting so much of myself and so little of you."  When I read that, I felt like she had spoken words naming an ache in my heart.  Constantly,  my prayers include asking for strength to endure, to keep moving. The prayer shared by this writer revealed to me how selfish my prayer focus is.  My prayers aren't only centered on the Covid-19 pandemic. My prayers are deeply personal, identity related. They are focus on relationships. My prayers focus on parenting. It seems that in many ways this is how my prayer life has been for a long while. As I sit at River View Center today, I realize that the work isn't only in me. The work truthfully isn't even accomplished by me. Work is being accomplished out of my view. This work in and through the lives of others is being accomplished by I Am, by Love.  To put this visually...in the river i...