perspective

Someone I follow on Facebook recently posted a picture of her daily journal. The picture included a prayer which said: "Forgive me for expecting so much of myself and so little of you." 

When I read that, I felt like she had spoken words naming an ache in my heart. 

Constantly,  my prayers include asking for strength to endure, to keep moving. The prayer shared by this writer revealed to me how selfish my prayer focus is. 

My prayers aren't only centered on the Covid-19 pandemic. My prayers are deeply personal, identity related. They are focus on relationships. My prayers focus on parenting. It seems that in many ways this is how my prayer life has been for a long while.

As I sit at River View Center today, I realize that the work isn't only in me. The work truthfully isn't even accomplished by me. Work is being accomplished out of my view. This work in and through the lives of others is being accomplished by I Am, by Love. 

To put this visually...in the river in front of my house there is a huge stone. All summer the water has been flowing low and clear. When the sun hits the water just right, I am able to see this huge stone. A couple days ago we got rain. The water level has come up a bit. Also, do to runoff, the water is silty and brown. Today, I can't see the stone at all. 

I am reminded that God is at work. I AM is there even when circumstances prevent me from noticing ways in which I Am is moving.

So, on this sabbath day I the selfishness of my prayers. I confess that I expect transformation and resurrection to occur through my efforts. I confess my struggle to be still and contemplate I Am within the core of my being. I confess my struggle to be still and contemplate I Am in the world around me.

And, now, I pass the question on to you, in what ways do you expect much of yourself and little of I Am/God?

Blessings, H