September First....

This morning I found myself being glad its September 1st. Its cool and overcast here. That means I can comfortably wear pants. Today it feels like fall here at River View Center. Even my doggo just wants to curl up and snuggle.

I am enjoying this bit of quiet in the midst of a topsy-turvy year. Spouse at work. Kids at in-person school.

But, there is my own restlessness. I have basically been unemployed for 6 months. I did get a little bit of pandemic unemployment. Our tax return went toward a family gift of kayaks. The stimulus check finally came 3 months after IRS said it was mailed. It came just in time to be used to pay for repairs on the electrical system in our house.

As a substitute teacher, my getting jobs is all dependant upon the district having need. Thus far, no need. No need means no assignment and no income.

Recently, I tried to look into taking a few classes so that I might get certified level 1 rather than emergency certified in my district here in PA. What I have discovered is its just cost and time prohibitive at this time. 

Every day is a balance between being grateful for this season of quiet and that at the moment, needs are met and contemplating how I might take steps to make things slightly less anxiety producing financially.

I miss how busy I was with substitute assignments January through mid-March. I miss interacting with students. I miss feeling useful as for a week now with the kids at school, I don't feel needed.

I have struggled to find other work. While I am well educated, my education doesn't seem to fit employment opportunities.

This season is a balancing act. The season continues to remind me that my worth is not rolled up in what I produce. I try not to dwell on the anxiety of no income. Rather, I try to rest and be grateful in the present. I pray for openness in my perspective of the reality of my circumstances.

As this crazy season continues to unfold, how are you staying centered? How are you fostering gratitude? Where are you finding joy?