The River View Journey

A third of the way through 2020...for most of us these last 3 months have been more difficult than we could ever have imagined. Quarantine and shut-down have meant financial struggles, dealing with the realities of technology or the lack there of in many places, being faced with the need to deal with relationship issues as we are locked in with those persons or tabling the dealing with in order to just get by. Its striking how when faced with a challenge, I often think that moment is the worst thing, day, month, year that I have ever had to survive.  Maybe it has been up to that point. Maybe it just ranks in the top 25. The repeated phrase is "that was the worst".  There are aspects of 2020 so far that have indeed been difficult. Currently, I am anxious about my own financial ability to weather this storm. I am also anxious about parenting and family life. But, there are so many aspects of 2019 that were worse if I try to put this all into perspective. 2019 was a year in whic...

Perhaps that is a saying that rings true for the majority of Americans right now. I write as the Covid-19 pandemic is sweeping the nation and world. I live in PA which is taking a slow approach to shelter in place. My county is currently not in a mandated "lock-down" only strongly encouraged social distancing. But, schools across the state have been closed for 2 weeks. They will be for at least 1 more by state mandate.  I expect it to be much longer. So, my kids have been home. And, since my currently employment is as a substitute teacher, I am unemoyed. For many months, I have carried a dep physical ache that has made it hard o breathe at times. It finally occurred to me his week that the ache wasn't depression, anxiety, or an illness. Rather,  the ache is grief.  I have been in an extended season of grief for almost 2 years. The losses have seemed to come one on top of another. They have been tied to my vocation. The losses have been deeply personal. I also have realize...

I have actually been working on this post for six weeks. But, for many reasons, it has gotten tabled. Returning to it today, I am reminded that all of us are spiritual people, but we all experience and express our spirituality differently. The following connects with my personal contemplitive and mystical spirituality... "Some hearts are built on a floodplain...." I don't know why or even when I first developed an interest in geology. But, I fully embraced it at the age of twenty-one. I was required to take a science elective in college and I chose Geology. It was a class that had nothing do with my studies in music education. But, it was a class I enjoyed immensely. There are seasons of my spiritual journey when certain songs play constantly in my heart and mind. Several songs just seem to be a narration of certain types of seasons and as I find a season unfolding, a song will get played on repeat. One such song that I have been hearing over recent weeks has turned...

I have posted several memes lately which relate to long-lasting friendship, especially as it relates to difficult seasons. I think I have shared the posts mostly as encouragement to myself. I continue to walk this season which is difficult, lonely, and deeply marked by the absence of one of the most important people in my life during the last nearly twenty years. Today, I found this quote about friendship: "A  true friend  is someone who neither leads nor follows, but walks with you. " This season is, for me, marked by the fact that I do not have anyone who is walking with me or whom I am walking with. Too, many people in my life are affected by decisions I have made. Thus, many are persons whom I can't walk with or who cannot truly walk with me in the rhythms of a deep friendship.  Sure, I have lots of acqaintences that are fun to sometimes hangout with. I have one friend who is still there, but whose attention is spread mostly on my daughter, her God-child right no...

I have spent some time in this new year working to organize all the ideas I have in my mind to write about. I have been creating lists of topics and others lists about various aspects of each topic. I have never really considered myself a writer. In all the days of my life thus far, my writing has been on a topic or subject that has been assigned. So, I thought developing lists related to my blog and my ideas to write about might help inspire me. I have spent the last 2 weeks working many hours at my new job. The days and hours have also been filled with the final tasks relating to my move to a new house. Developing my lists for my blog writing has been snuck into the schedule in little stolen moments. I plan for my writing to become much more regular. It has just been difficult to fit in moments to write anything of substance during these busy days. But, I did want to let any readers out there know what I am up to. One thing that has been a joy and blessing during these days has been ...

Have you ever felt you were trying to come to terms with too much new? This is definitely my struggle currently. New month, new year, new decade. Then there is new house and new job. I am really trying to be open to the possibilities within so much newness. Perhaps my struggle is that it is winter in the northern hemisphere and all around me are leafless trees and dormant grass, no flowers and mostly mud. Today did provide some beauty from snow flurries. But that just reiterated how cold and damp the air feels. There was a time in my life when it was easy for me to see that "new" pointed to resurrection. Hmmmm what does resurrection mean? It's definition? Resurrection means "raising up". In Christian perspective it points to a an actual event in the life of Jesus. But resurrection is also a hope for the end of the life of people. It's a hope for all of creation. It is a hope-filled perspective that physical death isn't the end, but that we will be raised...

Today is Christmas Day, the first day of the Christmas season. I am doing something I have never done before.  Several weeks ago I claimed the need to spend a few days alone. This works well in my family's practice as my husband, children and I have for the last 13 years exchanged our presents as the four of us on Christmas Eve. This practice simplified travel as we have traveled to one side of the family or the other on Christmas Day morning all but three of those years. We never did "Santa" like many families, so it didn't matter. My husband and kids got up this morning and went to my in-laws for a few days. I get to stay home with my dog. And I am currently listening to geese flying across the river with my dog asleep on the chair beside me. I needed space to grieve. I needed to be alone. I needed to think about all the people and things that I have lost and feel the absence. I needed to claim the very many ways that this Christmas is so very different from every o...