A stranger in a strang land...

Perhaps that is a saying that rings true for the majority of Americans right now. I write as the Covid-19 pandemic is sweeping the nation and world. I live in PA which is taking a slow approach to shelter in place. My county is currently not in a mandated "lock-down" only strongly encouraged social distancing. But, schools across the state have been closed for 2 weeks. They will be for at least 1 more by state mandate.  I expect it to be much longer. So, my kids have been home. And, since my currently employment is as a substitute teacher, I am unemoyed.

For many months, I have carried a dep physical ache that has made it hard o breathe at times. It finally occurred to me his week that the ache wasn't depression, anxiety, or an illness. Rather,  the ache is grief.  I have been in an extended season of grief for almost 2 years. The losses have seemed to come one on top of another. They have been tied to my vocation. The losses have been deeply personal. I also have realized that I have not truly greived everything I have lost. 

For me grief is my mental, spiritual,  and bodily response to loss. It gets exhibited in a variety of ways in all three of those areas. 

COVID-19 and greif...trying to live ino the messiness of this season of my life requires that I name how strange the world feels to me. These days need me to, I need to, state how very much I feel like a stranger. 

My hope by stating this is that space will be cated for me to grieve. I hope o for space o be created for me to grow in knowledge and love of myself. 

What ways are you feeling like a stranger and what ways does the world feel strange to you? Take some moments in the days and weeks to acknowledge and claim the strangeness of our world and of your unique place in it. Maybe together as we acknowledge and speak these realities it will be like weeding a garden and through these actions beautiful new life will blossom.