The River View Journey

 I keep telling some folks around me that restarting life in my 40’s is often difficult. Finding a new career, trying to refigure out my spirituality and faith, re-learning how to parent, recreating home, and learning who to trust and trusting myself. It is all new or being relearned. The up side is that it’s all about me and my authenticity, not what someone else is telling me to believe, think, or do. I am trying to make new friends and deepen relationships with people who were formerly only acquaintances. And, I am trying to learn how to do “romance” post the starry-eyed teenage and twenties years. This time includes my own teenage children. This go around in romance is no longer starry-eyed. In fact I am very aware that, more often than not, people aren’t always what they seem. It is hard work learning to balance healthy skepticism with allowing myself to live in the moment and just enjoy the adventure. Add to this the saying that lesbians usually show up to the second date wit...

  The last week has been full of the unexpected. Job hunting is still stressful. Finances and 2 major home projects are stressful. But…. I have been on a dating site for about a year. Generally if I match with someone we chat over a couple days and it fizzles. One person I have become friends with. However, the geographical distance between us has kept it at that. Last week I matched with someone. And, we met face to face. And, then we went on an actual date. I was not expecting this especially at this time. I really wanted to have my life more put together than it is before a “relationship “ came along. A friendship I had a few years back which forced me to openly acknowledge my sexuality has also made me cautious. So, much of what transpired from August 2019 to July 2022 means I don’t trust myself to notice and believe if someone is being authentic.  As, with most friendships currently, I struggle to trust if someone is being authentic.  I desperately want to believe th...