The River View Journey

Today was the last day with students. They only had a half day. My afternoon in-service was spent helping the paraprofessional in the classroom I have been working in and the new permanent Elementary Life Skills teacher get the room ready for summer. We have another half day tomorrow morning. I feel like this spring has been a pendulum swing. Not getting a full-time position sent me back into discernment. My immediate thought was to give up, that maybe I am wrong about this part of my vocation.  I still have lots to consider financially as I consider next personal steps. But, I love what I do...I love the kids and my co-workers. So, I will embrace that knowledge for the coming weeks as I rest and spend some time with my kiddos. I am in between. Not, full-time teaching. Not doing the spiritual direction stuff. I am discerning how to best make connections for that. I am discerning what it would look like to offer retreats and groups for persons that struggle finding their...

I need to vent. So, if you are here for encouragement and insight, this isn't the post for you. It's been nearly three years of a roller coaster for me. Three years since realizing I am gay. Three years of navigating the loss of a 20 year friendship. Three years moving toward separation and divorce. Three years trying to figure out how to parent differently.  Three years of my vocation changing instantaneously. Three years of the instantaneous loss of collegial friendships. Throw a world-wide pandemic on top. I spent 2020 trying to figure out what my vocation could be. I spent spring 2021 to fall 2021 trying to figure out how I could become a full-time teacher without going back to school. I then invested time and money in that path. Yesterday, I found out that I while I am a good substitute teacher, I won't be getting a full-time position. I don't have the right credentials, name, experience, education, or presentation at interviews to be given serious cons...

I am dreaming about how I engage with the next season of my journey and vocation. I carry so much in regards to self-discovery. It's heavy regarding how much I had to unpack and discard to be able to discover myself. It is heavy in regards to how the church treats people who are LGBTQIA+, like me. It is heavy in regards to choices I made as I was learning about myself. It is heavy now as I often feel so alone.  My faith does give me space for understanding my own journey. However, the institutional church is very intertwined to the heaviness of my journey. As, I dream and discern, I understand that I have the gifts of a listener and of one who can walk alongside others who are trying to make sense of their spirituality and live guided by that part of themselves. I am deeply aware of how institutional religion can, at best, complicate and, worse, cause injury and to each of us as we navigate our spiritual jouney. I am looking at developing relationships with people who a...